Or: An update!
She didn’t have laser surgery, y’all. Instead the good specialist took a look at the hole on her retina and was all “Let’s freeze that sucker so the tear doesn’t get bigger! No needle in the eye for you!”
Oh, did I forget to mention the whole needle-in-the-eye thing? Because that was the part my mom was sort of, um, FREAKING OUT ABOUT. And now yeah. Completely worthless worrying.
They numbed her eye (as best I understand, they just squirted the numbing agent into her eye and it worked! Magic!) and then they cryogenically froze the tear. Doesn’t that sound like maybe my mom is half-cyborg now? Like the aliens came and took her off to space to replace half her head with machinery because MAH EYYYYES! and they wanted to study her? Or maybe I’ve just been watching too much V lately.
Her other eye is looking a little shifty so they might have to go back and freeze it someday, too. They’re keeping an eye on things (snort).
I talked to her a few minutes ago. She sounds good; she’s very happy it’s over. There’s no pain but she can’t move her eye yet because it’s still numb.
This caffeine overdose, however, doesn’t appear to be wearing off just because I’m relieved.