Like in life, all roads lead to American Idol. Obviously.

Aha! Two posts in one week! IT CAN BE DONE. (Sometimes). (With effort).

**Also, American Idol SPOILER ALERT ahead!**

See, the thing is, what’s going on with me right now falls into two categories:  “MONUMENTAL MY LIFE IS ABOUT TO CHANGE HOLY SHIT” and  “Do I watch the new episode of Lost or American Idol first?”

Anything that falls into the first category is unbloggable at the moment. Believe me when I say that it pains me not to be able to share with y’all, but it’s going to have to wait a few more weeks. And for the record, no one has taken up residence in my womb. This life-altering biz is of the non-baby variety. As for the second category, who really cares which I watched first? My DVR and I are getting to be close personal friends these days and there’s room in my heart for all its contents.

Speaking of American Idol, though, can we talk for a minute about this dude*?

I mean, his voice is fine and stuff, but THE MULLET. I am personally offended by THE MULLET and I get angry every time I see THE MULLET. On Tuesday during his little introductory video before his performance? He told America that he made up a language when he was a kid that he still uses when he’s writing a song but doesn’t have lyrics yet. That is what he wanted America to know about him. And then he sang in the made up language. Sports THE MULLET and admits to using a made up language on a regular basis and on top of that wears v-neck t-shirts. Which, no. Just no. People of the male persuasion should not wear v-neck t-shirts (sweaters are okay, but t-shirts bug the crap out of me). That is my personal opinion/prejudice and I’m sticking to it. Three strikes, Alex Lambert. You’re a good looking kid with enough talent to land you on television and you’re throwing it all away on terrible fashion decisions and awkward sauce interviews.

Then there is this chick who was punted the fuck off the show last night, thank sweet baby Jesus.

Everything, and I do mean every single thing, about Haeley Vaughn annoyed me. From the stupid flower in her hair, to her giant mouth, to the fact that she grins all through every song she sings, to her constant! happy! bouncy! cheer! I was so happy to see her go I almost cried. I don’t think I could have handled another week of her look-at-how-adorable-I-am self.


Okay. So. Now that I’ve demonstrated what a horrible bitch I am, let me predict the top three:

Yup. From left to right: Lilly Scott, Andrew Garcia, and Crystal Bowersox. I think these are the three with the strongest combination of vocal chops and originality. I think if talent truly is the stick by which we measure the winner of the competition then the winner should be Crystal. Damn, that woman can SING. It doesn’t hurt that she also plays guitar and harmonica AND makes pretty great song choices. I’d totally do her.

It’s really too early in the season to make solid predictions because you never know who’s going to flake out, who’s going to make a bad enough song choice to earn themselves the boot in spite of talent, who might crumble under the pressure or who will have some sort of personal dramz and lose focus. But for now, I’d say those three are pretty strong candidates for front runners, despite the judges rather harsh criticism of Andrew the past two weeks. (I thought his version of “Sugar We’re Goin’ Down” was pretty hot myself).

What do you think? Any other American Idol junkies fans out there? Don’t be shy. Lord knows I’m not.

*I used this photo rather than the official Idol photo because I do not feel the official photo allows sufficient attention for THE MULLET.

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