A lot can happen in three weeks, including complete incoherence & and an infestation

I blinked and twentysome days had passed without my posting a single word. Uh, whoops. I am a blogging superstar, obvs, but it is late and I have to be up at 5:15 tomorrow, so please lower your expectations of this post before you proceed. I’ll wait right here while you go ahead and do that.

Nope, lower. I am pretty ramble-y.

I doubt you are much interested in the scintillating details of our unpacking and lo, our packing is unfinished and there aren’t many details anyway. It’s mostly the putting away that is not done at this point. We have about 30 broken down boxes or so and holy Christ the movers used my body weight in packing paper you guys, for real. I was all “Let’s recycle it!” because I am trying to make up for not recycling the past few years because it was haaaaard (translation: I am lazy). Zack doesn’t think we can recycle the packing paper, though, because it is weird and kinda…sticky? Not something-spilled-on-it sticky, but it’s-made-like-this sticky. Tacky? Um…I am out of words that mean sticky. You get the idea. ANYWAY. All that to say that I have a lot of packing paper to get rid of and I’m not 100% sure how that’s going to happen. Garbage seems the mostly likely candidate, though we are also considering posting an ad on Craigslist for free packing materials and see if anyone bites. That is kind of like recycling and I would feel lots better about that option.

I have a new job! I’m molding young minds once again. Only, what I’m actually doing is changing diapers and wrangling kiddos and reminding toddlers eleventy billion times a day not to take toys from their friends or, you know, eat paint. It sounds kind of lame but I’m really enjoying the change of pace (no desk, woo!) and I’m working at a back-up facility, so each day brings new kids and new challenges. It helps that I can send the frustrating children home and know they will be someone else’s problem tomorrow. This job has most definitely curbed the baby fever for awhile, thank you Lord.

At nap time one day (two weeks after my starting, mind you) I sidled up to this seemingly empty critter container with some brown mossy/dead twig crap in the bottom thinking someone had had a bug in there but it died and maybe I should clean it out and OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK JUST MOVED? WHAT IS THAT THING IN THERE? I not-so-calmly asked a co-worker what the hell that thing was and she replied that they (they! multiple!) were hissing cockroaches. HISSING COCKROACHES IN MY CLASSROOM, Y’ALL. THIS SITUATION DESERVES SO MUCH CAPS LOCK ACTION BECAUSE OMG COCKROACHES, EW.

Today I felt sorry for them and fed them a carrot. Because even cockroaches don’t deserve to starve to death unless they have invaded my space in an unwelcome manner. Since obviously someone thought it was a good idea to bring them in and treat them as pets, I feel obligated to not be cruel. Because I am a weirdo who likes to completely skeeve herself out, apparently. I have not ruled out trying to pawn them off on another teacher.

Friends, there is a pair of rollerblades in my entryway. Rollerblades that are MY SIZE, and may or  may not involve some hot pink. I may or may not be dying to try them out, but first I have to wash the inserts because I borrowed them from my mother-in-law and let’s just say that they’ve been living in her garage for a good long while. No, I did not find evidence of mice having lived in them, ahem. I will consider the endeavor a success if I don’t break myself in some serious way.

Alright, time to sleep or I might have young children choking on small objects while I snooze on the floor pillows tomorrow. Perhaps next time I will have something more coherent to share. Perhaps also next time won’t be three more weeks from now.

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